Halloween is a holiday that I look on more fondly now that my kids have just about outgrown it. I don’t mean to be glass half-empty, but it can be seriously challenging for neurodiverse families.
Now that most of my kids would rather hand out candy then go door-to-door for it, we can just sit back and enjoy the costumes. So, I offer you a few things as a neurodiverse parent who for years went into Halloween not knowing whether the memories for that year were going to be good or otherwise: first, a frank and sadly true comment from someone else, and secondly, a couple of tips and links to other blog and websites that offer helpful suggestions.
Frank (slightly edited) and sadly true Halloween comment from someone else…in looking through blogs and sites that offer tips to help neurodiverse families have the best possible Halloween experience, I came across the below comment and it resonated. There were years when Halloween – including the neighborhood trick or treating local parades and school celebrations – felt like an obligation that might make my kid stand out, and not for their costume. And so for neurotypical families and kids, I encourage tolerance because you never know what might be behind that meltdown or unusual behavior:
“Kids shouldn’t have to carry blue candy buckets on Halloween to indicate autism. Kids don’t have to wear some kind of indicator in order to get free candy. If a kid doesn’t say “Trick-or-treat” so f*cking what? It’s free candy day. If you wanna make children jump through hoops for you, just shut your damn Iights off because you are trash…Everybody gets free candy. No costume? Free candy. No talking? Free candy. Too old? Free candy. Parents that look exhausted from walking 16 miles for $20 worth of candy? Free candy for them too!”
Tips and sites with helpful suggestions for neurodiverse families: Halloween is hard for neurodiverse families on so many levels – uncomfortable costumes, shifting schedules and anxiety over not knowing what comes next, sensory overload on its own plus leading to exhaustion when there are still hours of trick-or-treating ahead, invading of personal space at every party and house, and of course SO MUCH CANDY! All of the excitement around Halloween can induce significant stress – one of our kiddos experienced an anxiety-induced seizure years ago after a trick-or-treating event.
Here are my top 6 tips to try to bring the stress level down for neurodiverse families based on nearly 40 combined years of neurodiverse family trick-or-treating:
- Sit down this weekend with your kiddo and talk through what will happen on Halloween day and night;
- During the conversation walk through a visual guide on one of the many good Halloween preview books for kids;
- Have your kiddo do a ‘run through’ by trick-or-treating in safe spaces (your own house and/or neighbors) and while wearing the costume – have them practice coming away from a candy stop and directly back to you;
- Keep things as low key this weekend as possible (being rested can make a big difference);
- Agree to a plan with your kiddo on candy consumption – can they have 10 pieces on Halloween night, 5 every day during the week after Halloween, then donate the rest to a worthy organization like Treats for Troops?
- And finally, have a plan in case your kiddo gets lost – if your neurodiverse family is like mine, this is not only possible, its likely to happen at some point during the night. The crowds, darkness, tendency of kids to move lightning-fast to collect as much candy as possible, and anxiety Halloween can evoke in neurodiverse kids make it incredibly hard to keep track of your kid or kids. Talk through that ICE plan with your kid(s) and other adults you’re with and even practice it during your ‘run through.’
These are just my top-of-mind thoughts. Here are links to other sites that offer helpful insight on this topic:
- Neurodiverse Families, What Are Your Tips to Get Ready for Halloween?
- No Tricks, Just Treats: Tips for Celebrating Halloween With Neurodiverse Children
- Help Your Neurodiverse Child Have a Happier Halloween – Expert-approved tips for making Halloween celebrations a little easier
- 5 Tips for Safe Neurodiverse Trick or Treating
- Halloween Tips for Neurodiverse Children
Here’s wishing you a Halloween with (at least mostly) happy memories!